


If You Can Afford Me

by kitnkabootle



Category: 30 Rock, The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 07:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitnkabootle/pseuds/kitnkabootle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Miranda Priestly and Liz Lemon's failure at relationships brought them into a zany romance of their own?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Can Afford Me

Her heels connect loudly with the floors of 30 Rockefeller Plaza as Miranda Priestly storms through the halls with an intensity that sends people clattering out of her way.

When she gets in the elevator, unsurprisingly, people vacate it as though they've just heard of a bomb threat on board. Everyone except one ginger-haired young man that is, who is looking at her with an enormous grin plastered across his backwoods-boy looking face. Miranda's gaze is ice cold as it lands on him, and he lifts his hand and waves it enthusiastically at her.

"Hello, Ms. Priestly!" he drawls, wriggling his shoulders beneath his page jacket. "Have you come to see Ms. Lemon?"

Miranda blinks and her lips purse in distaste as she blankly stares at the man for a good few seconds without responding. Finally when it suits her, she nods her head in the affirmative and turns her eyes towards the flashing floor numbers.

Kenneth annoyingly continues to babble, "You know... I saw the latest issue of that magazine you write, and gee those models sure looked great on the cover. Although I did notice that they looked a little bit too thin, and I was thinking that it might give off the wrong message to some of the younger ladies that read it. I thought that maybe you might be interested in going with models with a little bit more meat on their bones, like my cousin Whinnie! She sure is a looker, and she's thinkin of moving out here in the --"

Miranda has had about as much as she can take of the man and when she looks at him this time, he feels it like a bullet shooting right through the front of his head and out the back. He claps his mouth shut and still manages a warm smile.

Miranda does nothing warmly in return.

Thankfully for both of them, the elevator dings and signals the arrival at the correct floor and Miranda Priestly is off like a racehorse out of the starting gates. It takes the elegant editrix roughly one minute to make it through the board room and directly into Liz's open office door where she slams it shut firmly behind her.

Liz who has been picking out bits of plasticine from her hair, jumps to her feet and recoils against the wall behind her, "No... no no no...Miranda.... listen! I didn't do it on purpose!"

Miranda's glare is lethal now, and her glasses are plucked from her nose and dropped into her Prada handbag. She splays her scarlet leather clad fingers on the wooden desk as she leans forward and runs her icy gaze up Liz's missed attempt at an outfit until she is staring into large brown eyes.

"What were you thinking?" Miranda asks, her voice threateningly low as her eyes narrow considerably.

Liz scrunches her nose and forces an uneasy smile, "I uhh... thought you'd like it!"

"Oh?" Miranda asks, her gaze mocking as she rolls her head on her sinfully pale throat. "Like it, hmm?"

Liz nods like a bobble head on a bumpy dash and averts her eyes.

Miranda all but whispers a soft "Ahh."

Even in a whisper the threat is real and incredibly dangerous. Her fingers slip into the handbag and when they glide out they are dangling a pair of red panties with a cartoon, pink-icing topped cup cake decorating the gusset.

"I don't know about me Elizabeth, but the board of directors at Elias-Clarke seemed to find it amusing when I attempted to retrieve my blackberry and ended up dropping this on to the table." Miranda does not look in the least bit amused.

Liz winces and threads her hands nervously into her own hair, almost covering her eyes in humiliation, "I... oh god Miranda, I meant for you to find them! Not... not the whole... oh my god... the whole board?"

"Yes, Elizabeth. The entire board, Irv not excluded."

"Blerg." Liz moans, to no one in particular and realizes that it will take a lot more than that to talk her way back in to the editor's bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by: @dragonwine
> 
> Originally Posted on LiveJournal - January 4th, 2010


End file.
